We’ve all been there. You bought a beautiful wig, you feel renewed, rejuvenated, back to yourself, but you’re super nervous about wearing your wig out in public for the first time.
This is a totally normal part of the process and you’re not alone! Here are my tips for making this transition as smooth as possible. Let’s take it step by step.
Step 1: Practice
Before you wear your wig in public, practice, practice, practice at home. You’ll get familiar with putting your wig on the right way. Wear it for at least a couple of hours at home to make sure there’s nothing that needs to be adjusted before you venture in public.
Feel how secure the wig is on your head. It’s not going anywhere!
Step 2: Anonymous Gatherings
Wear your wig to an anonymous place–the mall, the movies, the supermarket. You’ll be out in public in the wig, but won’t be the focus of anyone’s particular attention.
This is a big step in getting comfortable with wig wearing. You’ll be able to walk around anonymously and you’ll realize that absolutely no one even notices your hair. Once you realize no one is as obsessed with your hair as you are :-), you’ll feel a lot more confident.
Repeat Step 2 until you feel really ready for the next step.
Step 3: Work
Wear your wig to work. Hint, give yourself extra time in the morning so you never feel rushed or anxious about getting it right.
This is probably the step most of us fear the most. I recommend doing this for the first time after a weekend.
What will people say? What will they think? Will they try to touch my hair?
Ok, here’s the deal. Your hair is no one’s business, but people are inquisitive, so do be prepared for some comments with ready answers you’re comfortable giving.
“Wow, your hair looks amazing! What’s different?”
A simple “Thanks, I got it highlighted/cut over the weekend,” is a great answer.
If the wig is longer than your bio-hair, “Thanks, I love it. Got extensions over the weekend.”
The biggest point to remember here is that your boundaries are your boundaries. Don’t feel pressured to share any information you don’t want to. If anyone pushes back and wants more info, just remember, they are being inappropriate and you don’t owe them an answer. Smile, say something noncommittal, change the subject and walk away.
Step 4: Family
Wearing hair to a family event is Expert Level Wig Wearing. Sometimes family can be nosy and feel entitled to info. Your family loves you, and it’s not generally coming from a bad place, but again what you share is your choice.
I would use the same answers as in Step 3, with the realization that you may get a bit more pushback. Be okay with being mysterious! ;-)
Which brings us to the question, “I wear a wig. To tell or not to tell?
This is completely your choice. But here’s my suggestion: share your wig journey with the people in your life who you’re close to.
It can be really lonely carrying this alone. The people who care about you want to support you through this journey. And the more you can lean on them and “normalize” wig wearing, the easier you may find it.
I have customers who keep their wig wearing a secret from even their partners and closest friends. But this level of secrecy about such a core issue can create more feelings of isolation, vigilance, and shame.
And it’s not a dirty secret. No one is ashamed of wearing extensions, false eyelashes, microbladed brows, etc., and neither should you be. You’re practicing the ultimate self-care and replacing something that’s been lost to you. No one questions replacing a lost limb with a prosthetic one. This is really not so different.
It takes some time to work up to this level of openness, but I’ve observed that women who are able to get there feel like their lives are richer and less lonely.
In the end, this is not a dirty secret, it’s not a luxury, it’s not simply cosmetic. You deserve to feel like the best version of yourself.
Xoxo, Lena